Borrowing

Today I want to talk about a very touchy situation; and that is borrowing money from family and friends. I say this is touchy for a couple of reasons; first just borrowing the money in the first place, second is because this will probably piss off a few people if they read it. But hey maybe it should.

I know we all get in a fix and need some help some times, but I am a firm believer you should not borrow or loan more then $50-$100 to or from friends, period. Nothing you can't pay back within a week or so. Now there are situations when maybe you are going to a game or something and you pick up the tickets, or you pay for a hotel or anything up front, but I still say keep it to a minimum. My main reason for saying this is if for some reason the loan cannot be paid back in a timely manner you risk hurting your friendship. There are of course the friends we call family, and yes I would trust them with a lot more and feel comfortable that I would see the repayment as soon as they could, and I believe this goes in reverse also. I don't think I have ever not paid anyone back.

When it comes to family I know we need to help each other out sometimes. But there is still a line that should not be crossed. We have had to borrow from family a few times to make a house payment or get out of another jam but we have always paid or are in the process of paying every penny back. My mom has bailed us out of a few jams but as soon as I get caught up or get some extra money, we pay her back in full. Now some family you can take longer to pay back because they don't need the money right away, but you still have to pay it back. But as for my mom, she has helped me when she does not have much and we have paid her back when we told her we would. As with most families there are some smaller loans you know will not get paid back but that does not make it right. Some smaller loans like $1000 or so is not the end of the world if I don't get it back but don't just assume I don't want it. But then again this also depends on the family member you are loaning to.

I don't care if you are a close relative like a sister or brother, or just a cousin; don't assume that they are OK with you not paying them back. Now if we are talking in the area of 10-20 thousand dollars or higher you damn well better be paying it back or at least making some kind of nice payments towards it. $100 every few months is not acceptable!! If you made a promise to pay it back when you sell something big like a house or land or anything like that, then honor your word!! Don't go out and buy new things you can live without like a car or a trip or anything!! First of all it is a slap in the face to the family member you borrowed from, and second it makes you look like a self-centered, non-caring person that should be ashamed of themselves.

I will do anything I can for most of my family, but if it’s a lot of money they need and I can help at that time, you better believe I will make damn sure I get it back in a timely fashion. Again I am not worried about small amounts, I know I will get it back sooner or later but large amounts need to have a time table. Yes I have borrowed from my mom, dad, grandparents, sister, and in-laws, but they all have been paid back in full.

So it is my opinion if you are one of those who owe money to a friend or family member and you don't really acknowledge it, and you still seem to have money to buy what you want, or you come into some money and still don't pay, then you need to pull you head out of your ass and wake up!! If you think your family does not care or they don't need the money then think again. Stop being the self-center, non-caring, worries me, fake ass person you are and pay them the money you owe.

Anniversary

14 years ago today my wife and I got married.  We had a good size wedding with several good friends and family standing up with us.  If was a great day with plenty of sunshine and plenty of friends and family.

On this day 14 years ago, I went golfing in the morning with my dad, brother and several others.  This was a good start and a good way to relax before the big night.  Later when we were at the church, I remember first of all seeing my dad put on a tux!!  He looked great, but I am sure that was the last time I will see that.  Then seeing the ladies milling about in their beautiful dresses started the nerves going a little.  But seeing my little sister was the best at that time, she was adorable.  Of course how could I forget seeing my mom braid my brothers hair, yes I said my brother, that will go down in history.  Every one looked great and relaxed, of course the guys were, they had been taking relaxation medicine for a few hours:)  I know I was getting a little more nervous as the day went on, but I was ready.

When the time came, and I walked out of the back up to the alter I could not believe how many people were there.  The alter was elevated by a stage, and it seemed at the time to be about 10 feet high, actually it was only a few feet but still.  My best man and I stood there watching all the rest of the wedding party come down the aisle with the guys looking good with the beautiful ladies on there arms.  Then came the time for Stacy to come down the aisle and everyone stood and watched my beautiful bride to be come down the aisle and take her spot next to me. I think the stage was shaking a little, because our hands seem to be a little shaky.  Anyway the ceromony went great and no one fell off the stage or alter. And now it was time to party.

After a short ride on the trolly and a couple of stops, (beer run), we managed to get to the reception.  When we walked in I was in all, there must of been 300+ people there, and the sad truth is, I was related to probably 2/3 of them.  Anyway after a good dinner, a couple of long toast, and Granny Peak spending a bunch of money to dance with me, the party was great.  Something like 15 fiths, and 5 kegs were consumed, one hat knocked off, one outragous blue outfit talked about, and a whole lot of fun was had.

We left for Hawaii the next day for a great honeymoon on Maui.  A week later we returned to our little house on the lake to start our new life together.  Now 14 years, 3 houses, 2 great kids, 5 dogs, and a ton of great memories later, were are one happy family.   I can't say it has been an easy smooth road, because as in any marriage there have been some bumps; However we have worked through every situation life has thrown at us, and we have done it together.  We have managed to stay close to several of our friends and their familes threw the years, and we have become  friends with several other great families also. And as I said, we have done this together. 

So my opinion is I have a great wife, great kids, great family, and great friends, and I owe it all to my wife Stacy for being there for the last 14 years, well actually more like 20 but who's counting.  This is one opinion no one can change.

Golf Etiquette

So today a Friend and I went golfing and had good time.  The weather was great and I actually did pretty good. But what I want to talk about is golf etiquette and how some just don't understand or care about it. 

The front nine we were cruising along, talking about who knows what, but having a good time.  Every time we got on the green we would fix our ball marks along with a few others, and of course we would comment of how people just don't care about the course or the etiquette of the game.  Then we come to a sand trap, that my ball just happened to be in, and there had been at least 3 other people in the trap that did not rake it out after they hit.  So we raked it all out and the grounds keeper actually thanked us for doing it.  Now these may be little things, but it is apart of golf to rake the sand or fix your ball mark.  With that being said those things did not really bother me that much.

There were only two of us so we figured we would come up on some people eventually.  That happened on about hole 7 and at first it was not a big deal.  We finish out 7 and then went number 8 which was a par 3.  This is when we started getting a little frustrated.  There were two women in front of us when we got to the tee, and we sat there for 15 minutes watching them.  Now mind you they had already teed off before we drove up to the tee.  Not only could they not hit the ball very well, they did not have a clue about the etiquette of the game.  They would not leave each others side even though their balls were not close to each other. Then when we thought they were on the green the cart was a good 35-40 yards away from the green.  The problem with that is they were both on the green looking at lord knows what, and one of them walked back to the cart to get a club and then back to the green.  Then she puts and misses, she then walks over to the cart to move it and then goes to finish the hole.  Now take your time if you want but when people are waiting then hurry up.  Anyway they finished finally and moved to number 9 so we teed off (2 balls apiece), finished the hole and then had to wait to tee off the next hole because they were just then getting off the tee. 

Our plan was to pass them at the turn but they did not go in the club house long enough for us to do that.  So we figured we would go up behind them on number 10 and they would just let us go, but no, they did not even acknowledge us.  So we went back to the club house and got a drink then back to 10 and we still had to wait.  So we just picked our balls up and skipped the hole.  Most people wouldn't care but the one lady started yelling at us saying we can't do that, but we had already talked to the starter and let him know we would be passing them.   Anyway she pulled up beside us and started yelling so we just ignored her.  We then played through another group ahead of us with no problem, just as it should be.  A few holes later a different starter came up to us because the lady had called and complained and was yelling at him. We told him what we did and said ok, laughed and drove off.  Then another ranger comes up and we told him the same thing and he just chuckled and said have fun.

The point is, if you are going to golf or learn to golf then learn the etiquette of the game also.  Fix your ball marks, rake your sand traps and let faster groups play through.  This is not a new concept, it has been this way for as long as I have been playing and my dad for that matter.  So enjoy the game and respect the game, the courses, and the other people out there.  I am not even going to go into controlling your temper while out there, because my own brother is the worst when it comes to that, but he does fix his ball marks and lets faster players, if there are any, play through. 

If you are a golfer I don't believe you would disagree with my opinion but hey stranger things have happened.

Driving

I must be getting old because I am sounding like my dad, but there a lot of stupid drivers out there.  Driving is a privilege and should be treated that way.  The car or vehicle you are driving is a very dangerous machine that does not work by itself, it needs to have competent people to operate them.

I have not always been the best driver, I have been known to go a little fast and not pay attention at times, but not so much anymore.  Maybe I am getting older or maybe it is because I have kids and that has made me more aware of what is going on, whatever the reason I know I am a much better driver then some of the people on the road today.

I don't think people know what a yield sign means or even a stop sign for that matter.  I sure know people don't know how to drive in a round-about, especially the circles of death we have down the road from here. With that being said  I have one thing that drive me crazy when driving and I have been know to yell and or fly a bird or two. That is paying attention to what you are doing.

You are not alone on the road, so pay attention!! Just because you are behind the wheel does not mean you are the only person out there.  For instance when driving down the highway stay in the right lane unless you are passing.  The left lane is for passing and if you are slower than the person behind you then get out of the way;  however if I am in the left lane passing someone, don't get right up on my but, just let finish passing and I will get over.  Even in parking lots, you are not the only one there, in this country we drive on the right side including in parking lots. The next thing, don't pull out in front of people, we should not have to stop when you pull out.  If you do happen to pull out in front then push the gas and get up to speed, we should not have to slow down to a crawl either. 

For me, one of the worst things is the use of cell phones. Now cell phones will be another post all together but for driving I do not like them. Yes I have one and yes I have talked on one and drove, but not for  long periods of time and not very often.  The problem is there are way to many people who can't walk and chew gum yet alone drive and talk on a phone, you just need to put the phone up until you reach your destination or stop to talk.  Now for you  people who are crazy enough to think you can text and drive, you might just as well carry a loaded gun with the safety off, because you are going to kill someone.  There is nothing so important that you have to text about while you are driving; however my kids and my family and friends are important enough for me to yell at you if I see you doing it.  If you are using your phone and you hear someone yell or a horn honk or you see a bird flying your direction, GOOD, you deserved it.

So for your safety and the safety of others pay attention when driving!!  Learn the rules of driving!!  Be courteous when driving!!  Don't drink and drive!! Don't text and drive!!  When you are in the car, the car should be the most important thing to you because an out of control car is just as deadly as that loaded gun.

If you don't like my opinion then you are probably one of those I am talking about, but hey its just my opinion.

Sportsmanship

Good sportsmanship is something we all should have learned as kids, but it is also something a lot of people don't know anything about.  Well I am going to tell you about one team that knows a little something about it, and they have proof. 

The Hartland Havac Gold U12 girls select soccer team, Ryann's team, is that team.  Not only am I a proud parent, but I am also a very proud assistant coach on this team.  These girls work hard and play hard, however they are learning that soccer is a physical sport.  They get pushed and bumped and knocked down, but never give up.  This was the story a few weeks ago when we played in a tournament up in Midland.  It was the girls first tourny ever and they were out matched for the most part; in fact they did not win a game.  But we could not be more proud of them, because as I said they never gave up.  After every game they made a tunnel for the other team to run though as they cheered "2,4,6,8, who do we apriciate?"  But that is only a small thing they did to show there sportsmanship.

The big thing, the one I and the other coaches and parents are proud of, came in the final game against a very good team from Saginaw, the Saginaw Storm.  They were down in our end pushing toward our goal when one of our defenders stepped up and made a play on the ball.  She kicked the ball and it went directly off the face of one of the girls from the other team and she immediatly went down.  Are girls all stopped in there tracks and went to a knee even though the play was still going and they almost scored.  The girl had to leave the game with a swollen nose and a nose bleed.   The game ended a couple of minutes later and after they all shook hands and did the tunnel, some of our girls went over to the other side line to make sure the girl that got hit was ok.

Some people may say big deal, however for a team of 10 and 11 year old girls to stop a game and worry more about an apponent who got hurt then the game itself, and then to go on their own to the other team to make sure she was ok says a lot. It is nice to see these girls have been taught from their parents and coaches what good sportsmanship is all about.  Not to mention what great all around girls they are in the first place.

Now for the proof of this incident.  The Hartland Soccer Club recieved a letter from the parents of the young lady that was injured.  These parents took the time to send this letter to comend our girls for the sportsmanship they showed toward their daughter.  It is one of those things that makes me as a parent and a coach very proud, and I hope this is something all the girls will remember.  Everyone involved with Hartland Soccer should be proud of these girls.  They represented Hartland Soccer and did it with great sportsmanship.

That is my opinion as a proud father and coach.

Volunteers

Volunteer must be a nasty word to some people, because they refuse to do it.  I don't know why they don't, maybe its because they are just greedy, selfish people.  Maybe they think the world owes them something, I just don't know.  What I do know is volunteering is something we all should do.

There are so many ways to volunteer are time for so many great causes we should have no problem giving a little time. My wife and I  have chose to volunteer in our kids soccer program ( one of the few all volunteer programs around here) and help at the school and with the girl scouts and with our friends etc.  Right now I spend a minimum of 10 hours a week volunteering my time and I would not change a thing. I do it because I like to.  Don't get me wrong I have had to say no to some things but when it come to the kids, I just can't.

Sometimes I wish I could do more but I just can't, on the other hand if some others would step up, the rest of us wouldn't have to do more.  I think people just assume youth coaches get paid to be there or troop leaders are paid to do all they do, but they don't.  Those of us who do volunteer are not there to baby sit your kids, we are there to teach them and work with them, and in some instances we are all they have.  So don't take advantage of us volunteers, we do it because we enjoy it, and not because we have to, but because we want to.

So thank you to all who take their time to volunteer.  For those who don't then get off your lazy behinds, off your stupid cell phones, deflate your over size heads and get out there and give some time to your community.  If you choose not to then you best praise those of us who do because without us volunteers a ton of things do not happen.

Like it or not it is just my opinion!!